A Teen's Last Words to His Mother: Its Time to Go!

Music Teacher Lyssette Hawthorne lost her son to suicide earlier this year and wants parents to watch out for the obvious and not so obvious cries for help.

“I am a teacher and the mother of the young teen [Ruddy R], who hung himself on January 8, 2016. He was 15 years old, handsome, intelligent and talented. He was my first-born and although various interventions were put in place to prevent this outcome, he hung himself in a guinep tree,” Ms. Hawthorne told Loop News.

(Hawthorne — who appears to still be in deep mourning — asked that Loop News use the alias Ruddy R for her son in this story although she gave permission for his image to be used.)

He was a grade 10 student at a prominent high school, was exposed to the usual high school ups and downs.

“However, when I realized how deep in depression he was, I began to listen to what he had to say. One day, he firmly told me that there was no hope for him and so when he is gone, I am to remember what he went through upon entering high school and help others like him who are ‘stronger’ to make it through school. My son pointed out to me the stages that he went through until the point of his death:

“Stage one: Telling the story of a boy being teased to insanity by both classmates and several teachers.  Speaking about a classmate who was teased or heckled is sometimes a cover up of his own encounters about what happened in school.

“Stage two: Complaining about everything and being angry and becoming angry at siblings and or family members.  Not being patient, snappish in response and walk out of simple discussions at home or church. Some persons resort to stealing, self-mutilation (cutting), bullying and gang association.

“Stage three: Smiles are gone. Sometimes, silent tears fall from the eyes (sad eyes). The child sits in isolation and removed himself from his friends both from school and church. At times he played games, and locked himself away from the world and did not want to get out. When questions were asked, they were about death. Sometimes the child felt lost, expresses feeling of not belonging anywhere.

“Stage four: The stage of acceptance. Sometimes, the person sends the final signal that he is planning on leaving this unfair world behind. Sometimes drawings, death or dark drawings are seen. There are the online games that are linked to deep conquest. Then posts are made on posts that highlight the deepest darkest thoughts. The child expresses that there is no hope and wants to leave the torment behind. When gifts are given to the child, they are meaningless. This is a clear sign.

“Stage five: The act. This time the individual decides on the day of death. If he knows that he is being watched, he will be selective on the day in which he does this last act of finding peace. The act may take a few days after the decision, a week, a month or many months.”

It was three months from when he informed his mother of his depression that he committed suicide.

“He asked me to listen to what he had to say. He gave me his gratitude in being a good teacher, mom and a listener. He thanked me for trying but it was time for him to go. He said there was no stopping him; it was just a matter of time,” said the 48-year-old teacher.

She said she begged him to hold on, which he did, and although various methods of interventions were pursued, he made his choice to die.

“I have been called names, so were the rest of my family. We have been discussed, abused both spiritually and emotionally but only the ones who knew the journey understood the struggles,” she added.

Her hope is to bring a dimension to the growing problem of depression in Jamaica and especially to teachers.

She added: “My child showed signs of depression and was misread by the highest authority in Jamaica. I hope this will help teachers whose children experience prolonged depression to seek or provide methods of intervention for them. I miss my son very deeply. I still hear his last, ‘Goodbye!’’’

Music and the Classroom

The classroom should be considered as a safe place to learn.  It is the center of information that can be attained form and informally.  It is the wisdom of a good teacher who can regulate what information is relevant but also she needs to have an open mind to other subjects of which she does not teach.

Music is one of those subjects that gets mistreated on a daily basis.  Music should be taught to students who need or desire it, not to be forced because the teachers of the other subjects cannot manage disorderly ones.   Many schools with music programmes have  not been given a breathing space to grow because of the following:
1.  heads of department without performing arts experience developing a programme without solid input of the music specialist.
2. lack of support  from top management for the growth and development of the music programme.
3. poor perception and lack of understanding of parents of interested music students.
4. members of staff who dissuade science based students to pursue music as a subject.





It is unfortunate that the benefits of music are not respected or understood by parents and members of staff thus contributing in the direction  Jamaica is going to the point that many persons are not happy with.  The lyrics and the musical arrangement of many of the "Dance Hall" music are nothing short of advertisements for  an amusement park for "dry sex". Though I have not seen recent research has on the effects a faulty music programme has on the development on the Jamaican musical culture, one must realize that aspects of Jamaican music has spiraled into darkness.

Still, music must be taught because from my experience, it is a beautiful escape from the stress of the world and home and the best tool to release their creative energy.  Also, it is an opportunity for the genesis of beautiful music to be developed and channeled correctly in the right direction.  In the end, music can become receptive to for students to better learn concepts and skills that can enable them to become good musically competent practitioners.   Therefore, teachers of the other subjects should be more selective in "sending" students to do music and spend more time supporting the music programme like any other programme that receives  "harmonic" support from various educational stakeholders.

It is Hard Being a Teacher!

The teaching profession has become very hard to be in these last days.  The expectations are unrealistically high.  Teachers have to be reinventing themselves to fulfill the high expectations of the ministry without additional funding.  To add insult to injury, they mop teachers on the floor of the media to make teachers feel that they are under the microscope with the hope that teachers can become more accountable.  Many of the teachers feel demoralized and disrespected by public figures with some form of accreditation and the teachers union was accused of protecting lazy teachers. Lately when one speaks to teacher, the response is that of demoralization, lack of motivation and depression.

Here are some of the things that have face the Jamaican teachers,
a. frozen salaries for five years only to get a meager increase
b. reduced funding for the department
c. parents who have a perception that teachers are time wasters and not stimulators and facilitators
d. badmouth them in PTA meetings or attack them verbally in public or on the school compound.
e. Condescending attitude from some educational supervisors.

There are more but I think one understands what is happening therefore, it should be no surprise that the Jamaican teachers have decided to take their practice elsewhere. Good teachers began the exodus three years ago and because of the remarkable work they have done to schools abroad, they are being sought after by agencies of schools that have heard and witnessed the Jamaican teachers at work.  Last year, approximately 40 teachers did not return to their jobs the beginning of the new academic year and more are expected to go as the recruiting agencies have traveled to the island to conduct interviews to teachers who are willing to walk away from the battle field of the local classroom to better situations.

 

It seems that the education system in Jamaica is forced to make serious decisions.  The Science, Mathematics and English teachers are the set of trained teachers that are in demand. Educational institutions have become concerned that they will not find teachers returning to their jobs each month.  The schools are left in an atmosphere of uncertainty and so is the education ministry.  The harsh tones that were spoken to teachers have become soft and compassionate.  The economics of the times persuade decisions of workers so that they can attain and provide a quality of life for the their children. 

It is hard being a teacher in the Jamaican system.  The choice has to be made to be loyal or to be wise.  Can a teacher's job be made easier?

 

What is happening to the police force?

The security force is supposed to keep a nation safe.  These people are specially chosen to protect and serve the  nation making it a safe place to work, go to school, and live freely.  But in the last few months our nation went into shock when some of the most publicized arrest of robbers were in fact policemen.

It must be embarrassing to the police constabulary to realize that some of their colleagues and for some coworkers were implicated with the incidents of robberies that happened.  The question that I have for this is why?  Why person who swore to protect our nation decided to rob it?  Is it a case that they are so broke that they are compelled to steal?  Is it that there is too much stress on the job and they experience a meltdown thus turning to part time crime as a coping mechanism?  Whatever it is, it shows that the Jamaica Constabulary Force now has to review their recruitment exercises and conduct sporadic psychological tests to proper evaluate the mental well being of the members of the force.

Our nation is experiencing serious economic stresses but if everyone of us were to crumble and turn to crime, then the nation would be under siege.  Our Ministry of Health needs to deal with the issue of mental health of our overly stressed workers who are grossly underpaid.  This may seem to be a joke to some but there are many persons who are borderline insane and are at breaking point at our work places and homes! More and more individuals have taken drastic and negative actions due to feelings of  desperation and hopelessness and with that thinking, some individuals crack under pressure and do stupid things.

I end by asking the question, are our police thieves?  I say no!  It would be appropriate that the powers that be, instead of focusing on one type of remedy, should focus on the emotional stability and family life stability of members of the security force.  It may not be a cure for all things  but in the end it would become a preventative measure to reduce the incidents of not only police crimes but other crimes in our country.  The Jamaica Constabulary Force should take note!

Are there Lego Beasts in the Classroom?

About two weeks ago,  education minister spoke at the most recently Jamaica Teachers Association Annual General Meeting held in Montego Bay.  I believe that Honourable Ronald Thwaites was truly feeling what our educators have been feeling over the years and with the passion that he felt for the overhauling  of our education system he just simply expressed himself.

It is understood that the term "lego beast" seemed belittling of people's children but the reality for many of our under performing schools is that there are children who are released to the schools that seem to posses "lego beast mentality!"  One must remember the context in which this descriptive statement was used.  The minister was simply stating that our nation's teachers were spending too much time disciplining students before they had a chance to teach and by the time the class is settled, most of the teaching time is reduced, much to the disadvantage of the other students who want to learn. This is the frustration good teachers and students have to deal with on a daily basis and to be honest, it is a huge turn off for many educators who are now dealing with higher levels of over active students in the classrooms.  I guess parents think that teachers can deal with the problems that they cannot fix at home.  Teachers are supposed to teach or guide a child and not become referee and security officers!

Yes, Mr. Thwaites gave a charge to the parents to stop sending their "lego beasts" into the education system.  Was it a poor choice of colourful words?  Was he emotionally charged  due to the fact that maximum learning and contact time are not achieved in the schools?  I leave that for you to answer.  But what I do know is that many of our "Ivy League" schools that have received good parental support have lesser behavioural issues to deal with, thus producing successful grade averages in final examinations.

My take on this is that if parents know that they have troubled children at home, they shohuld find methods of interventions, When this is addressed, they should send them to school and inform the guidance department and administration of the emotional/behavioural issues so that teachers can develop strategies to deal with them.  Do  not "let go" the" troubled children" on the schools, it can become a crazy Zoo in there!

Please, Honour Our Athletes!

After witnessing history unfolding before our eyes on the global screen, I think that our country should before the staging of the 2016 Olympics, should do something tangible to recognize not just two but all the athletes who represented  our country over the decades. 

An athletic museum should be set up in Trelawny or Ocho Rios, on a one acre property with different buildings erected to represent the different stages of our track and field history and development.  

This is my vision:

1.      The first building should have the images of the pioneers of Jamaica’s track and field representatives and their coaches.  This section should have life sized pictures and biographies of each person involved in the process. 

2.      The second building should have the development of the track and field programme and the government’s drive to improve the quality of the coaches and the role the Primary and All Age School annual athletic meet.  Pictures and biographies of those young athletes who became part of the dream team in the 90’s and 2000.

3.      The third building should have the athletes of the decade featuring Walker, Bolt, Pryce, Powell, etc.  These should also have life sized pictures of those athletes strategically placed throughout the building.

4.      The fourth building should be a National Sports Library filled with relevant information for CSEC Physical Education students, research students and members of the local and international cable companies to gain special access.  An online library should be developed and registered as credible referenced sources. 

5.      The fifth building should be a Jamaican home style cook shop where roast yams, roast salt fish, boiled green bananas, dumplings, mackerel run-down, ackee and salt fish with roast or fried breadfruit, etc.  Also a Jamaican juice counter and water fountain should be in that building.

6.      The sixth building should have a souvenir store.  This should have autographed memorabilia for persons to purchase.  These should be in dual currencies that will facilitate local and overseas visitors to the attraction.

7.      Outside should have life sized waxed or bronze statues of Usain Bolt, Shelly-Ann Fraser Pryce, Deon Hemmings, Merline Ottey, etc.  This should be at a place strategically placed outside but protected for persons to take pictures beside the images. 

The buildings should be in Jamaican colours, with the walls having draped colours of the flag along with white.  Also, special effects lighting should be there.  Outside should have several fountains with a make shift waterfall and a mini botanical garden for persons to either picnic or take pictures. 

I know that it seems as if I am a dreamer but I think my country can benefit from this.  After all, our athletes are a great reservoir of resource and a multi-million dollar investment should be made to make this possible.  I am almost sure that companies such as Puma, Nike, and other sporting companies will topple over themselves to invest in such a concept.  It is time to truly honour our athletes, what do you think?

Back to School Again!

"Ring-a-ling-a-ling, school bell ring and its back to school again."  This was a line from one of Bunny Wailer's song several decades ago.  At that time, there was more optimism in the air about teaching and learning and there was a better spirit of enthusiasm.  Now, the jury is out.


For some, students are looking to get themselves together to invade the classrooms and recall all the fun and not so fun things they did this summer.  Others, teachers coming back to work to face another year of service to the country with very little money to take care of things both at work and at home.  Yes, and there are others who are in better positions for one reason or another but what is clear is that education has become more challenging annually.

I am for one embracing the new academic year, with fresh students coming out of primary school who I am sure will be feeling excited that they have arrived.  I will see proud parents,  ones with bouts of anxiety and high expectations, the others, with pious faces transmitting an inflated sense of entitlement.  Whatever the situation, this well paid teacher is prepared with my etched  professional smile ready to receive them all.  After all, I am a teacher!

I do hope that this batch this year will be packaged with better socialization and oral skills because in the previous year, there were many students who were lacking in both.  I hope that the parents are fair to my colleagues (who am I kidding!).  I cannot help myself being completely optimistic about the new school year.  I hope I get a good chair, new registers and mark books, resources for the various subjects that I teach and a freshly painted structure.  Those things, though simple make a difference to one's quality of life (peace of mind).  It helps one to mentally compensate in order to be happy at the workplace.  I, would like to be happy again!

So, as the bell rings for the resumption of school, let all of us be optimistic about the classroom/working/social/environmental conditions.  Education is a must.  Teachers must be prepared and be contented, students must be respectful, administration must be considerate and supportive and most of all, parents must be cooperative.  Off I go.  "Ring-a-ling-a-ling!